That Moment
by Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay
Summary: You recall most of the important moments you've shared with Shizuo, don't you, Izaya? /Shizaya, Izaya angst!/.


**Warnings: OOC-ness. That's about it. Enjoy!**

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**That Moment**

_You recall most of the important moments you've shared with Shizuo, don't you, Izaya?_

First, there was the moment in which you first saw him. For you, it was love at first sight. A couple of months passed, and you confessed your feelings to him. You were more than happy when you realized that he shared them.

That moment when your three year anniversary came up, and Shizuo showed up at your doorstep in the morning before school with a beautiful bouquet of roses.

That moment when you and Shizuo graduated finally high school, and the two of you celebrated by drinking milkshakes and watching Good Will Hunting over at his apartment. He held your hand for the entire night, even after you both fell asleep.

That moment about a year after high school ended, when you decided that maybe, just maybe, Shizuo wasn't the right man for you. And yet, you stayed with him. But your reasoning was terrible.

That moment when you left the house telling him that you were going to hang out with some friends and you had a one-night stand with another man behind his back.

That moment when two years later, you lost your job as an informant, and Shizuo was more than willing to let you move in with him because you could no longer afford to pay rent.

That moment when you noticed that you could easily steal his funds without him knowing. Poor, poor Shizuo. His one weakness was always his obliviousness.

That moment when you realized that it had come to a point where you were only with him because you were using him, but you just grinned and continued with your actions.

That moment when Shizuo came home sobbing hysterically, and you asked him what was wrong. He proceeded to tell you that you had bled all of his accounts dry, and that he would no longer tolerate such behavior.

That moment when you promised that you wouldn't take any more money without asking, and he was nice enough to forgive you and attempt to move on. Unfortunately, that was a lie.

That moment when Shizuo realized that you had betrayed him for the second time, and he questioned your motives and if you were still truly in love with him. For that, he earned a slap in the face from you.

That moment when you dumped him on his birthday.

That moment when you left in the middle of the night carrying a large suitcase, leaving a distraught Shizuo to fall to his knees in the door way, sobbing his heart out into the beige carpeting.

That moment when you found out a few months later that Shizuo had gotten together with another man. That jealousy that you felt was more intense than it had ever been in your entire life. But, you had chosen to kick him out of your life. All you could do was watch him move on as you wallowed in your misery.

That moment when you realized that it had been four years since you had even spoken to Shizuo. Suddenly, you began to feel guilty, and you were truly sorry for your actions. Unfortunately, there was no way you would ever be able to apologize, since he wanted nothing to do with you.

That moment when you realize that no one wants to celebrate your 30th birthday with you. You had no friends. Your lying and cheating ways had driven them all away. You began to miss Shizuo's company more than ever.

That moment when you walked into town to buy yourself a cake, and you ran into someone that you could supposedly call an "old friend" from high school. His name was Shinra.

That moment when the two of you started to chat, and Shinra told you that Shizuo had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Apparently, his constant smoking was what caused it.

That moment when tears streamed down your face, and your jaw dropped in disbelief. Shizuo? Not your Shizuo. He was so strong… There was no way he could've succumbed to such a disease!

That moment when you started to cry hysterically and pestered Shinra for the location of the hospital he was staying at. You wanted to see him so badly.

That moment when you ran towards the hospital for dear life, screaming and begging to see him when you finally reached the lobby.

That moment when you stood outside the door to his room, wondering how in the hell you were going to explain your purpose for coming without upsetting him.

That moment when you stepped inside, and you saw Shizuo's new partner kneeling at the foot of his bed, his head resting against Shizuo's weak, pale hand.

That moment when the two of them turn to look at you, and all of the color drained from Shizuo's face as his eyes widened in shock. "Izaya." He questioned. "What on earth are you doing here?"

That moment when his partner asked who you were , and you lie and say that you're an old friend who just came to bring Shizuo the best of wishes. You asked him if the two of you could have a moment alone. He agreed and left, leaving the two of you behind in the room.

That moment when Shizuo weakly sat up and asked you your purpose for coming, and why now of all times.

That moment when you began to cry for the hundredth time that day, kneeling beside his bed and taking his hands in your own. You apologized for everything, and admitted that you were the cause of their relationship problems. You used him, and you were wrong. You were so sorry that it had to take something like this to finally get ahold of him.

That moment when you admitted that you still had feelings for him, even after all of these years had passed.

That moment when there was dead silence in the room for a whole minute before Shizuo mustered up the courage to speak.

That moment when spoke the words that you'd been wanting to hear for so long, "I forgive you."

That moment when he pulled you into a caring embrace and whispered, "I loved you then, and I always will." You responded with a "Thank you", and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

That moment when you pulled away, tears of joy and hurt streaming down your face. You were so happy that you were finally able to apologize, but you were sad knowing that you would have to leave with nothing more than this brief satisfaction. He had moved on, and there was nothing to could do.

That moment when he flashes you a final smile as you leave the room, and you let his partner know that it was alright to go back in. You wished Shizuo goodbye, and you uttered a silent prayer for him to hopefully get better in the near future. Afterwards, you never saw him again.

That moment when you received word from Shinra about a month later that Shizuo had passed away.

That moment when you show up at his funeral, but hide in the very back so no one will see you. You watched as the priest said a final prayer in his memory, and then you slunk away before you were noticed.

That final moment when you returned to his grave after everyone had left, and you gave him your final goodbyes. You thought about everything that you had done, and everything that could've been. And that's when you finally realized, _"Man, I really fucked up."_

_Yes, Izaya, you shared many moments with Shizuo, but in the end, you ceased to use them in the honest, loving way that he showed you for so many years._

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**So yeah, I think I've said "That moment" enough times for you to hear for the rest of your life. XD. I wanted to write something sappy that involved Shizaya. By the way, fan of the song "Good Will Hunting" by Ludo will recognize the references I put in. ;P I hope you liked it- reviews are always appreciated~. **


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